SINGLE, SAVED & HAVING SEX

Let’s deal with it. Straight up. So you are a Christian and still indulging in fornication. You know it’s wrong, but you keep doing it and you can’t seem to get out of your vicious cycle of sin. Oh sure, you go to church faithfully and you’re quite good at it. You dress up on Sunday, put your make-up on, get your weave laid, put on your finest suit and tie and mask the very sin that is dwelling on the inside of you. You lift and raise your hands during worship. You play your instrument the loudest, dance the hardest and serve on the most ministries. And please let us not forget your modesty. You never forget to tell others thank you when they tell you you’re looking good and fine on a Sunday morning.

Serving the Lord is not a problem for you because you’ve been doing it since you were an infant. You grew up in the church and it is safe to say that you still walk in the church every single time the church opens its doors. So, let’s face it. We know you have a relationship with God, but the question is if you are deliberately and repeatedly finding yourself in sin, can you count yourself among the righteous? (Rhetorical Question) Are you truly saved if you continue in sin that grace may abound towards you? (Rhetorical Question) Surely there’s a 5minute grace period for you right? If you just pray and ask God to forgive you every time you fall into sin you’ll be good right? WRONG. Check the scriptures out for yourself. If we sin habitually, we are not counted among the righteous and we are defined as not knowing God. Let’s take a look at the Word of God and see what the Bible has to say about habitual sin. Get this in your spirit!

1 John 3:5-8

5 But you know that Christ appeared to take away sins, and in Him there is no sin.

Vs 5 Meaning: There is no sin in Christ, so if you are in Him and abiding in Him, you detest and loathe the very thought of sin and it breaks your heart when you do it.

6 No one who remains in Him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has seen Him or known Him.

Vs 6 Meaning: If you are in Christ, it is impossible for you to “continue” in sin. Do you really know Jesus and have a relationship with Him?

7 Little children, let no one deceive you: The one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as Christ is righteous.

Vs 7 Meaning: If you are righteous, it will show in the fruit that you produce. You’ll produce righteousness and not ratchetness.

8 Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.

Vs 8 Meaning: If you make sin a “habitual” practice, you are not of God, you are of the devil.

A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN

So back to you. How do you get out of the situation you’re in? Because after all, you’ve become complacent. The enemy has trained your mind to think that it’s okay and that it’s harmless. It’s what everybody else is doing right? The devil has you believing that it’s normal. He has you believing that because you are planning on marrying this individual that it’s perfectly fine. After all, after you walk down the aisle, you’re going to be doing it anyways. Oh, and let’s not forget the famous lie that he always uses. He always reminds you of every single successful marriage that made it after wrongfully indulging in sex before marriage. He’s quick to give you a run down on how things can still work out if you slip up into fornication. However, he’s never quick to show you the turmoil behind closed doors of those marriages. He’s never quick to show you how long it takes people to recover from their promiscuous pasts. And most importantly, he’s never quick to show you the consequences of those marriages and how most of them often end in divorce or some tumultuous rocking that will rock the marriage so much that it will and can never be the same. Sometimes 2 years later. Sometimes 5. Sometimes 10. Sometimes 20. Please know and believe that it’s inevitable. Sure, no marriage is perfect and is subject to trials and tests, however, there are some things that you just won’t experience if you do things the right way. God’s way. By God’s design. If you continue doing your own thing, expect crazy results. Expect drama. Expect fighting. Expect abandonment. And please don’t forget to spare your friends and family of the tears they tried to help you avoid crying. They told you already. You just didn’t listen.

fornication

THE TRUTH ABOUT SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

So the world thinks that sex before marriage is okay and that there is nothing wrong with expressing yourself and showing someone how you feel about them. This sounds harmless, but it’s CONTRARY to the word of God. [See the scriptures pertaining to fornication below] If you aren’t married, it is forbidden. You are to flee it. You are to run the opposite direction if you even think that you are going to fall into this sin. The truth about sex before marriage is that while people think that sex brings them closer together, it’s actually driving them further and further apart. So while they help themselves to each other’s bodies, they are helping themselves to damnation and sinning against their own body. Sex before marriage is dangerous because it leaves people exposed and susceptible to all types of evil. Not to include, pregnancies out of wedlock, broken relationships, disease, domestic violence, manipulation, control and any other wicked work you can think of. So, if you really love someone and really want to spend forever with them, you’ll want to do it God’s way with them. You won’t sleep with them before you’re married to them. However, on the other hand, if you want to ruin everything, go ahead. Do what you want. Help yourself and prepare yourself for those devastating consequences. And if you just read this paragraph, God is now holding you accountable to do the right thing. Will you do it? Can you do it?

James 4:17

Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.

Scriptures Pertaining to Fornication

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 – Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Galatians 5:19-21 – Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness..

1 Corinthians 10:13 – There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God [is] faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear [it].

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 – For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication..

1 Corinthians 7:2 – Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

GET MARRIED. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

heart-check

HOW TO GET #PHREE

You probably won’t like my answer, but the quickest way to get #phree is to walk away from anything or anyone that causes you to sin. Yes. The pornography, block yourself from the websites. This is only creating seeds of lust that you allow to grow without even knowing it because you keep watching it. Yes Ladies. That man who says he loves you so much that he just can’t help but to help himself to your body. LET HIM GO. Yes Men. That woman that exudes control over you with her emotions and makes you believe you have a good thing that you don’t want to miss out on. LET HER GO. And brothers, just because you got her pregnant doesn’t mean you force it to work. If God didn’t ordain it, it’s best for you to deal with the consequences as they come and avoid putting a ring on it. You’ll just be complicating matters and making them worse when you bring your child into recklessness that they have nothing to do with.

Keep in mind, if the other person cannot recognize the spiritual and physical damage that will happen to you and them, then you’re probably not with someone who is saved and has a relationship with Christ. This is probably someone you want to release yourself from. And for my Christians, you know that being unequally yoked is unacceptable. Being unequally yoked just does not work and you know it. You can try it and you can try to force Bible verses down someone’s throat all day long, but if it’s not penetrating their heart, it’s not doing a thing but fooling you into thinking that you have the ability to change someone. If they’re not saved, it’s best to walk away and just leave them alone. Sure, it’s okay to give someone time to grow, but let them go through their growth phase on their own in their own space with God. Not on your watch. If they grow on your watch, you’ll suddenly find yourself entangled with their spiritual wellbeing and you’ll forget about your own wellbeing. You want a better whole, not a better half. So, letting go isn’t always bad. However, it’s not always easy either. Let’s take a look at how you can successfully break these soul ties so that you can #GETPHREEDUP.

BREAKING SOUL TIES

So what is a soul tie? A soul tie is a lasting bond that is created between people. It is a tie that binds people together. When God created sex in its original design for marriage, he created it to tie and bond husband and wife together. Not boyfriend and girlfriend…Or boyfriend and boyfriend…Or girlfriend and girlfriend. HUSBAND AND WIFE. Sex was created for marriage between ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN in the COVENANT of MARRIAGE. When we step out of God’s boundaries and his original design, we create unhealthy situations and ungodly soul ties. Of course, there can be godly soul ties, but there can also be bad soul ties that are fatal and damaging to the soul. Godly soul ties are ties that are usually created within healthy friendships and relationships. Ungodly soul ties are ties that are created during fornication or any other means of sex that occurs outside of God’s original design. If you have created ungodly soul ties with someone as a result of fornication, you are probably in a situation that you don’t know how to get out of. When you try to pull away from that person, you end up going right back to them. When they pull away from you, they end up coming right back to you. It has become a cycle and quite frankly, you’re probably not happy and you have no peace. There are many people that find themselves in these horrendous situations and they honestly just don’t know how to get out of them. So, if you’re reading this privately and reaching out for some type of help, please know that you are already taking the first step towards #phreedym. You have to first acknowledge that you have a problem and you have to let God know that you desire His full deliverance. Once you seek God with a sincere heart, there are some things that you have to do on your part. No, you can’t just pray and depend on God to wipe it all away. You’re going to have to give up some things…You’re going to have to give up some people. Yes ladies, those gifts like that Louis Vuitton bag he gave you for Christmas and that Michael Kors wallet he got you for your birthday, TRASH. Give it to goodwill or something honey. Material things sown into the ungodly soul tie must go. T-shirts. Cologne. Hats. Gifts. Anything that was given to you from that person, you must get rid of it. GET IT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. After you get that stuff out your house, you must cease all contact with that person. Text messages. Phone calls. Facebook. Instagram. Snap Chat. DELETE THEM. ASAP. Any door you leave open for that person to come back into your life is an opportunity for you to start the cycle all over again. END IT. ONCE AND FOR ALL. BREAK THE TIE. Going back is not an option. When you cut and sever a tie, it is forever. And if you need help doing it, ask God. Declare and decree the ungodly soul tie broken over your mind will and emotions. You will experience withdrawals and so will the other person, but these are unhealthy withdrawals that will only die if you continue to deprive them and refuse to feed into them. However, if you leave room for the devil to have a foothold, expect him to find his way in and run reckless.

THE REASON WHY YOUR RELATIONSHIPS KEEP FAILING

Simply put, your relationships keep failing because you keep doing things the WRONG way. God’s way is best. Ladies and fellas, rest assure that if you are saved and aware of what is right and what is wrong and you continue to practice fornication, your situationship is bound to be a catastrophe. Someone’s bound to walk away. Someone’s bound to go find someone else. Someone’s bound to abandon what once was so great. At least that’s what it appeared to be because that’s what you told everybody else. How do you go from great to turmoil in a relationship? Think about it. You’re so called so in love and the relationship ends in disaster. This doesn’t even add up. It doesn’t make sense. I’m sure this wasn’t what you wanted or had hoped for in the beginning. So how did you get there? How did you ruin and throw away what you ultimately wanted to keep forever? There’s a method to this madness. And if you haven’t gotten it yet, you should catch it like time now. Because if you don’t, you’ll continue to be single and wonder why God hasn’t sent you “the one.” Ladies, you’ll chase after every man known to God and try to force them to marry you. Fellas, you’ll chase after every skirt that flies past you on a hunt to put an end to a loneliness that will never go away. How do you fix it? How do you stop this downward spiral and trend? How do you get back on track? How do you actually embrace what you were told by your parents and your church? Because after all, it probably looks like there was some truth in what they were saying. How do you recover from that pregnancy out of wedlock? How do you recover from that disease you didn’t know you had? There’s hope. There’s healing. There’s life. But you MUST start over. And if you’re married experiencing the turmoil, wait it out and stick it out until God gives you clear guidance on what to do concerning your situation. Don’t listen to friends. Don’t listen to family. Listen to God. WAIT. And then OBEY. What God joins together let no man put asunder….It didn’t say “what people” join together. Sometimes we join ourselves up to what God didn’t intend on us to be joined to. He didn’t put it together and He most definitely didn’t mean to join you to it. Sometimes the truth is that we do the joining. Evaluate your situation carefully and be honest with yourself. Mental, physical and emotional abuse is never a by-product of God. Evaluate, remove yourself and start over with the help of Christ if you need to. You don’t have to die in it and don’t let religious church folk make you think that you do.

STARTING OVER

Not only do you need to let go, but you also need to get before God and get cleansed. Allow Him to make you whole again. At this point, you’ve probably fragmented your spirit just like so many other young brothers and sisters in Christ that I know. The important thing for you to know is that you don’t have to stay there. You can get back up. You can start over again. God is waiting for you to enter into a right relationship with Him. Will you step out and take this chance with God? Will you leave behind the familiar and walk into the unknown even if it means that you have to be single for years? Forever? What are you willing to do to get back into the presence of God? Do you want Him bad enough that you’re willing to let go of the things of this world? When we want something bad enough, we’re willing to go through the necessary struggle to get it. Even if it means leaving people or stuff behind. We’re great at it when it comes to what we want. But how are we when it comes to wanting what God wants for our lives? Are we willing to be obedient to His commands? We will move shake and shift for an employer that gives us our paychecks. We have no issues at all with doing what they ask us to do. Because after all, we need that check and we refuse to come up a penny short on the 1st and 15th. So if we can obey man, why can’t we obey God? God has a reason for every command and statute He gives in the Bible. It’s for our own good. Why would we live contrary to what He’s told us to do? Why can’t we see that there’s a blessing waiting for us if we’re obedient? Why do we get upset when the bottom falls out after we have gone against His will and stepped outside of His protection but being disobedient? Get #phreed up and by all means, try something different. Do something you haven’t always done. Step out on faith and live by His Word and see if He doesn’t open up the windows of heaven on you. Let go of what He’s called you to let go of and position yourself for greater. It was not and has never been God’s will for you to experience the things that you’ve experienced. This is not His purpose nor was it His original design for you to indulge in sex before marriage with different people. Get this and get this real good. Accept the kind rebuke from God and get back up and start over. And by start over, I mean starting over with Him…Not with another individual. You can pretty much kiss that individual goodbye. When you step out of bounds, you can never expect the relationship to be healthy again. If you want to stick around and wait on it to produce healthy fruit from a sinful foundation, that’s up to you. Just don’t get mad when you waste years of your life pouring into something that will continuously empty out everything you pour. You can’t expect healthy water from a poisonous river. The river will flow and move with the source that it is filled by. And if the foundation of the source is poisonous, you can believe that everything that flows from it is poisonous too. So, it’s best to just start over and wait for “the one.” The right one.

THE RIGHT ONE WILL WAIT

When you come across the right person, they will wait for you. They will think you are worth the wait. They will wait with you and for you. They won’t force you. They won’t push you away from Christ, they’ll push you to Him. So, if someone is telling you that they don’t want to wait, let them go. If someone is quick to tell you all about how there’s nothing wrong with sex before marriage, let them go. If someone is quick to walk away because they don’t want to wait patiently, let them go. They’re not the right one. Wait for the right one. Don’t look for the right one, WAIT. They’ll happen to you without you even knowing it and it will take God and all of Heaven to convince you that they’re the one. That’s “the one” that you want. The one that has to get permission from God to even be in your life. The one that God created for you. Here’s a video of encouragement…If you’ve never heard this, here’s my treat to you for making it down to the bottom of this post. I always like to bless my readers who have the courage to read the truth and #GETPHREEDUP.

I hope this post helped somebody..If it did, please leave your comments on the FB post and let us know. Please feel free to share so that other people can be helped. Be sure to share this post with another brother or sister in Christ that you know might be in need of it. There’s alot of people struggling and hurting out there. There’s especially a lot of hurting people within the 4 walls of the church. Let’s help them! Please be sure to like the FB page and invite your friends to like the page if you haven’t already. I can minister to more people if you help me. And to the new people that just joined us, it’s such a blessing to have you! If you have a question, prayer request or something you are struggling with, you can always message the page and either I or my team will get with you just as soon as we can. We understand that you can’t discuss everything with your family, friends or church. So, we’ve created a way that you can reach out in privacy and #GETPHREEDUP. Feel free to message the page. It’s there for you. Thank you for your constant support to my vision. I love you all.

Sincerely,

CARLA BENDER

PhreedymLive TM

16 comments on “SINGLE, SAVED & HAVING SEX

  1. This was confirmation for me I’ve been praying and acting accordingly with my prayers for breaking of the soul ties and just for god to cleanse my mind and spirit of lust that resides within, it wasn’t easy at first but I realized what’s more important to me is to build a relationship with the MOST HIGH, I was tired of living wrong.I love this article

  2. MY GOD MY GOD FATHER YOU KNOW HOW AND WHEN TO BLESS US…SO MANY OF US ARE BATTLING AND THIS IS A GREAT WAY TO SPREAD THE WORD. I LOVE THIS AND I WILL BE SHARING IT TO HELP OTHERS

  3. Thank you for sharing this awesome article of truth! It was definitely God-breathed & phree-ing!!! Just where I am now, so this was confirmation for me as well, the poet was phenomenal!!! May God bless you indeed & may your ministry blossom tremendously!!

  4. This is a blessing to my soul thank you for the encouraging words I’ve gained more strength to continue on my journey it’s been 6 years being single and I don’t mind waiting on God for His will to be done in my life, thank you and bless you always

  5. I thank God for you and your boldness to speak truth! This has been my struggle. This truly encouraged and inspired me to do what I know I need to do! I say I love Jesus now I must show him !!! Your sis in Christ….the truth will set you free !!!

  6. Thank you so much. It’s not easy but I I believe with all my heart that God gives me the strength to continue to walk in His will. I choose to take the higher road and let God guide me. I wait patiently on the Lord. Whenever I feel like giving up, I pray.

  7. WOW!!!! This really hit home for me! I needed this!! This was truly from God! I will continue to take heed to God’s word, His will, and His way. I will also read this and watch the video anytime my mind starts to drift back to loneliness, and fear of being alone. I will love on Christ and give God my all. I will WAIT for him!!!! Thank you for this!!!

  8. I wish I could just let go of the man who I loved. He abused me and is in prison, but he also gave me a daughter. I don’t want to be with the wrong man, I want God to pick that man for me – it’s so lonely being alone, especially when you’re used to company. I pray but I keep messing up and I want to stop! God hellp me to remove toxicity from my life!

  9. This was really encouraging to me ,just knowing that waiting until marriage is the right thing to do and allowing God to guide you every step of the way.

  10. THIS IS A GREAT WORD! SHARING THIS AND PRAYING FOR ALL OF US THAT HAS BEEN THROUGH AND GOING THROUGH THIS! KEEP WRITING ABOUT SUBJECTS THAT EVERY ONE HAS BEEN THROUGH BUT NO ONE ACKNOWLEDGES!!!!!!!

  11. Yeah I need to talk to someone. I’m losing it. Stopped fornicating….pornography….sex out of marriage…repented and trying my best and succeeding physically….but I’m emotionally so wounded and lonely heart broken. I’ve never felt so utterly isolated hopeless abandoned rejected hated and alone to the brink of no longer wanting to live.

  12. Byron, We hope things have gotten better for you…Always remember that just because we try to do the right thing, it doesn’t mean that we still won’t have to endure persecution. The enemy wants us to believe that God’s way is not the best way. It will take time to heal emotionally. When we give ourselves outside of marriage and we open the door to the enemy through sin, we can place ourselves in a position to be emotionally and spiritually broken. We are glad that you have taken the necessary steps toward healing by turning away from the sin…God will honor your decision to live for Him..The enemy will do everything he can to discourage us and make us feel like pursuing righteousness isn’t worth it. Keep pursuing Christ…You have the victory..Be encouraged brother..The PhreedymLive Ministries Team will be keeping you lifted up Byron…

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