29, SINGLE & PERFECTLY OKAY WITH IT

So statistics say I’m supposed to be married with children by now…Well, I’m not and actually elated about it for more reasons than one! Call me crazy honey, but I’m living and loving this thing called life!!!! There was a time where I use to fret, but that went away as soon as I started to live life and enjoy life right where God had me. To be honest, I’m simply enjoying myself. Enjoying my freedom. Enjoying sleeping in. Enjoying my fast food when I don’t feel like cooking and washing dishes. Enjoying my own multiple loads of laundry without the extra of someone else’s loads. Enjoying problem solving my own issues without the hassle of trying to help someone else solve theirs. Enjoying spending my time with God without distractions. Enjoying coming home after a long day’s work and simply taking a shower and falling asleep instead of tending to a child and trying to help them get to sleep. I’m enjoying traveling wherever I want to go in the world without the extra baggage of a diaper bag, stroller, extra changes of clothes and snacks to keep a child full. I’m enjoying days full of peace with the absence of bickering and arguing. OMG..I’m just enjoying L-I-F-E as it was meant to be!!!!! No stress…No drama….Just chill all day everyday.  Oh, and to top it all off, I’ve accomplished so much! A Bachelors Degree..A Masters Degree…A Career…Ministry and the list goes on!!! I’ve been able to grow in Christ and develop into the woman of God that I’ve been called to be without any hindrances. It’s been an awesome experience for me and I’m just getting started!!!!! Singles, are you feeling me yet??!!!!!!!

If you are single and have recently been frustrated with God and his timetable for your life, get a grip!!!!! I wrote this just for you. There’s so many things to be grateful for in this season! There’s a season and a purpose for everything. Embrace your singleness. Don’t waste it! I’ve thoroughly enjoyed just simply being with God. It took me a while to get here, but now that I’m here, I wouldn’t take my season of singleness back for anything. As I grow older and befriend mature sisters in Christ that are mothers and wives, I’m starting to see that maybe marriage and kids is not all that it’s cracked up to be. MARRIAGE AND KIDS ARE WORK!!!! I look at my friends and I honestly don’t see how they do it. I don’t see how they have a full time job and come home to another full time job of being a mother and wife. By the end of my work days, I’m exhausted! But needless to say, I just want to come home and sleep…And you know what, I DO! I turn off all of my electronics, go to my room and crash without having to tell anyone a thing about what I’m doing. It’s such a great feeling.

There’s so much that comes with marriage and having a family. So much responsibility! Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to want to get married and have children, but just make sure you’re really ready for what you ask for! Ready or not, when you walk into the calling of marriage, you will have to answer to the responsibility that knocks on your door. No longer will you be free to go and do as you wish. No longer will you be able to buy whatever you want to buy whenever you want to buy it. No longer will your free time belong to you. It will belong to your family. There are so many people who are married who wish they would have stayed single for just a little while longer. Better yet, there are so many people who are married that wish they could be single for just a day! When you get married, you give up your rights to live the single life. You lock in to mandatory rules and compromises. You no longer serve yourself, you serve others.

WEDDING RING

Are you really ready for marriage? It’s more than just a white dress and beautiful ceremony that only lasts a day. The reality is after aisle walking. The reality is after the photo shoots and save the dates..The reality is after the honeymoon. The reality lasts a lifetime. And if you rush into marriage with the wrong person, the reality can become your worst nightmare. The fairytale you dreamed of can turn dark really quick if you end up with someone that God did not intend for you to be with just because you rushed and failed to embrace your singleness. Are you just after a ring or are you just really trying to fill an empty place in your heart that only God can fill? God knows.

So the next time you get the slight bit discouraged about not being married with children by a certain age, just take some time to think about all the things you wouldn’t be able to do if you were a wife, mother, husband or a father. Think about all the things that would become limited. Finances…Choice of occupations..Choice of schools…Choice of car…Yes, everything is impacted when you join your life to someone else’s. Think about how you would be so pre-occupied with your family that you unintentionally begin to neglect spending time with God.

Don’t get discouraged this season…Get out and go see the world…Learn new things…Be free….Do you….Stop pre-occupying yourself with your watch and your personal timetable!! It’s not about you…It’s not about marriage…It’s not about having children to fulfill the emptiness in your heart. It’s all about being filled with Christ and living out your purpose for this day and time. Stop trying to rush and drag somebody down the aisle.

So, to my single brothers and sisters, take one day at a time….Your time will come….God’s just not done preparing you yet. You do want God’s best don’t you? You do want to receive all that He has for you don’t you? Submit yourself to the process…You won’t be ready for God’s best if you don’t allow Him to prepare you in His way and in His time. Wait IN Him, not ON Him. His time is not your time. To Him 40 years is but one hour….Wait I say on the Lord..Strengthen thine heart and take courage. After all, He’s waiting on you. The sooner you get it together and start fulfilling your purpose, the sooner He will reveal His plans and properly align you with His promise.

P.S. If God’s plan isn’t for you to get married, be okay with it and serve him anyway. Remember that marriage isn’t for everyone. He has a plan and purpose. Follow it. His ways are not our ways. Period. End of Story. Stop trying to write your own love story and rush down to the altar. Humans have been proven to be some terrible writers…Drop the pen and let God write….

If you took the time to read all the way down to this line, I decided to bless you with a video of a sermon by TD Jakes for singles. It will bless your soul…It’s funny, relative, encouraging and helpful for Christian singles… It was dead on point! I guarantee that you will watch it until the end..

TD Jakes- 10 Things Every Single Person Needs To Do

Sorry I haven’t written in a while…Life has been super busy and it’s so easy to get caught up and distracted with life and work! I pray that you were blessed…Please be sure to like, share and invite your friends to do the same. I can reach more people if you do. There’s a lot of hurting people out there who are quietly and secretly struggling. Let’s help them…

Sincerely,

PHREEDYM BANNER_CLEAR BACKGROUND_WITH TM

CARLA BENDER